A Love Letter From One So Distraught
by Shikalazynara
Summary: This is a monologue, or some what of one, that was inspired from a beautifully done AMV of Haruka and Michiru by therealsailoruranus on youtube, and her video of 1000years. Also from Tamao108 and her idea of always making Michiru mad at Haruka.


~Purely fanfiction

I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, so I'm not asking for it.  
>But its been days since I've seen you… And I feel like its already been forever since I've seen you.<p>

Getting away from everything after losing so much in your life really does put a lot into perspective.  
>I've been in this hotel room for about 2 and a half weeks now. Rei and Momaru both recommended it to me, even though Usagi-chan was telling me I should have just went back home and just spilled my guts out. But I thought that you had probably gone through more than enough emotional down pour for the day. So instead, I've been here… Laying, in the bed in which other lovers had probably lay. Staring at the white walls that marked as a canvas for my thoughts.<p>

Did you ever wonder… what it would have been like back then? Back, a thousand years ago, before we were reincarnated? When I was the Queen of Uranus, and you, the Queen of Neptune. Our planets, both so close, and yet so far away from each other. I imagine that we were both very busy people, and had barely any time for fun. But like Princess Usagi, and Prince Momaru, we tried making time… Or at least, that's what I like to think. That even in a far off world, thousands of years ago, when the Universe was just beginning, our love was also coming into bloom. Taking its part in its own piece of the world.

I don't except you to understand though. You've been busy, I know. You've been working. And very hard too. That new recording studio really loved you, and I remember how happy you got when you got "the call". I remember we celebrated by going out. I bought you your favorite wine, went out to your favorite restaurant. And to put the cherry on top, I asked you to marry me. I knew that that studio would want you, so I waited until you found out to ask. I still remember the pause you took. The pause that kept my heart from beating. Your gaze, choking me, and I couldn't even speak any longer. I probably would have just died where I was kneeling. But then your smile fibrillated my chest, and brought me back into motion. A tear went down your eye, and I didn't notice I was crying too until I stood up noticed that water had trickled onto my good shirt.

That really was a good shirt too. I hadn't brought it with me, hoping it could tare me away from thinking about you. But instead, that's all been able to do. It's all I've been able to dream, sleep, and think about… You… These days, I've been spending most of my time quiet. Laying in my room, reading a book. Occasionally going down stairs and swimming at the pool. Then there was this one night when I had gone to the bar below the lobby to get a drink. I thought out of everything else I've tried, I could at least try this as an anti-depressant.

There was then a girl there, which I guess I tried flirting with after a few drinks. She was nice. A young, pretty girl. Maybe 4-5 years younger than I. I personally don't remember much, other than she was nice. We spoke and hung out most of the night. She invited me to a table she was sitting at with a bunch of her friends. She then laid on me, and rested her head on my chest. This is when she realized that I was a girl, and I came to realization of which gender I really was. Dressing as I do, I appear as a man. But knowing who I am, I'm training mentally to know I'm a girl…

And besides, around you, you always reminded me what I was. No man, or any other women could love me like you could. Even other girls, still treat me like a guy in bed. You were the one that showed me both equal sides. Even though I do love being the one on top. You taught me that being on bottom could also have its pros. But the girl seemed to not mind. She just winked at me, and continued as if there was nothing odd. As the night proceed though, I realized I didn't want to bring her home with me.  
>She took my hand into hers, and played around with my wedding ring. This immediately brought me back to my senses, and I didn't want to sleep with someone that wasn't you.<p>

Later on, one of her friends made a smart comment about you. Yes, you. From the beginning she looked familiar too. She had gone to school with us, and I remembered her. Chikaru from the orchestra; played the viola. She always hated you, and I remember when she thrashed your locker when you transferred. At the time, I didn't know you or her all that well. To think, she didn't recognize me. She commented about your playing, and accused you of being a pompous rich girl who didn't care about anyone else. Someone who did as her parents told her to, and never said a word back. Someone who was weak and wouldn't make it through this world.  
>But her words were wrong, and she made a horrible choice of to say them. I then stood up, and slapped her across the face where I stood. I told her that she should never speak about someone that she barely knew, and that you were nothing like the words you spoke. The idiot girl that was laying against me then looked up, realizing now that her friend was talking about my wife. I mean you- I mean… I don't even know what we are anymore Michiru. But… I want you back in my life, and I need you. I can't stand this distance anymore. I need you in my life. Please Michiru… please… come back to me. Or… at least just tell me that you loved me. Not that you do. Just… at least you did. That way I won't be here anymore, thinking, hoping, and wondering if these past few years were nothing … Please Michiru, I didn't mean those things I said. I didn't mean to hurt you… I'm sorry.<p> 


End file.
